I have been feeling really rough since I was discharged from CMHT in February. I was going through a tough time before that, hence why I was referred.
I have been finding it really hard to get the motivation to do anything (and this blog has suffered because of that), have been tired ALL the time and have been overwhelmed with urges.
I am ashamed that I have acted on them a couple of times. There have been times that I have been scared to be in my own head. I am used to the normal urges, but its the ones that want me to do some serious damage to myself that scares me. I have never known fear like being scared to be alone with your own thoughts....
It got so bad that, when I went to my GP a fortnight ago, they got instantly worried about me and insisted on seeing my again last week. My medication has been changed and, I will admit that I can feel a difference in the intensity of the urges, but they are still there.
I don't know if I really want a re-referral to CMHT. I knew how bad I was after they discharged me last time. But I also don't know how else I am supposed to get better...
I will find out tomorrow I suppose!