I haven't posted anything in the past couple of weeks, I've been struggling to find the motivation to do anything to be honest.
I'm still going to counselling and learning more about how to control my anxiety, which is still pretty high. One thing that is encouraging my anxiety is the thought that I 'should be doing more uni work' or that 'everyone is doing more than you'. I physically can't do anymore, not because I'm doing lots of work, but because I am so exhausted just by going to lectures I can't bring myself to do anything when I come home but sleep! I've been told I need to stop beating myself up. I have anaemia, anxiety and depression, which all cause fatigue and tablets which cause fatigue as a side-effect. These and a two hour daily travel to get to uni and home again is all very tiring. I need to focus on getting better, even just my anaemia because I think it is the worst one before I need to think about doing extra work!
I've had extra pressure/responsibility put on me this week. My mum broke her elbow so is now completely reliant on me and my dad. However, my dad is doing absolutely nothing to help me... I have to drive my mum everywhere (because he doesn't drive, that's ok), do all the clothes washing, do the dishes (because my dad is lazy as), hang up all the clothes to dry, do all the ironing, wash, dry and straighten my mums hair, get my mums lunches ready for work every day, make sure the dogs are walked (even though it was the dog that caused her injury!!) while trying to study for uni, go to uni everyday and keep myself well. It feels overwhelming that I have all this work to do and absolutely no support. If my dad plans on keeping this up for the next 6 weeks (at least) then he has another thing coming! Either he helps me out a little or I'm gonna take a breakdown!!
Anxiety/depression wise, I've been pretty bad lately. I've found myself locking myself away from my parents when I'm at home saying 'I want to watch TV upstairs', when really I just don't think I can handle being around them too long. I have found myself getting emotional at anything and everything. I'm just getting fed up because I want to be better already!! I have done some things I am not proud of this week... I'm not going to get into it because, quite frankly, I am disgusted with myself for doing it...
I have to go to my dr again this week about my tablets (yay). Hope I get the one that is semi-decent and not the waste of space...
I'm still going to counselling and learning more about how to control my anxiety, which is still pretty high. One thing that is encouraging my anxiety is the thought that I 'should be doing more uni work' or that 'everyone is doing more than you'. I physically can't do anymore, not because I'm doing lots of work, but because I am so exhausted just by going to lectures I can't bring myself to do anything when I come home but sleep! I've been told I need to stop beating myself up. I have anaemia, anxiety and depression, which all cause fatigue and tablets which cause fatigue as a side-effect. These and a two hour daily travel to get to uni and home again is all very tiring. I need to focus on getting better, even just my anaemia because I think it is the worst one before I need to think about doing extra work!
I've had extra pressure/responsibility put on me this week. My mum broke her elbow so is now completely reliant on me and my dad. However, my dad is doing absolutely nothing to help me... I have to drive my mum everywhere (because he doesn't drive, that's ok), do all the clothes washing, do the dishes (because my dad is lazy as), hang up all the clothes to dry, do all the ironing, wash, dry and straighten my mums hair, get my mums lunches ready for work every day, make sure the dogs are walked (even though it was the dog that caused her injury!!) while trying to study for uni, go to uni everyday and keep myself well. It feels overwhelming that I have all this work to do and absolutely no support. If my dad plans on keeping this up for the next 6 weeks (at least) then he has another thing coming! Either he helps me out a little or I'm gonna take a breakdown!!
Anxiety/depression wise, I've been pretty bad lately. I've found myself locking myself away from my parents when I'm at home saying 'I want to watch TV upstairs', when really I just don't think I can handle being around them too long. I have found myself getting emotional at anything and everything. I'm just getting fed up because I want to be better already!! I have done some things I am not proud of this week... I'm not going to get into it because, quite frankly, I am disgusted with myself for doing it...
I have to go to my dr again this week about my tablets (yay). Hope I get the one that is semi-decent and not the waste of space...